Before the country became a republic in 2006, cross-dress­ing was considered illegal under various laws against ‘public immorality’. But the practice was legalized in 2007 and a ‘third gen­der’ besides ‘male’ and ‘female’ option given to those applying for Nepali citizenship. Yet transgenders still face hurdles to fully embrace their identity. Many Nepali trans-women (male-to-female transsexuals) dream of having enough money to travel to Thailand to undergo complicated and costly surgery to fully transform into women; a few of them have been successful. But, technically, there are no trans-men (female-to-male transsexuals) in Nepal, even though some like to identify them­selves as such.

 

Elyn Bhandari

Elyn Bhandari, 27, was born and raised in Kathmandu. He always knew that he was different but lived as a male till he graduated from high school. “I then met a friend who interned with the Blue Diamond Society. She brought me here for counseling and orientation.” Bhandari was 21 when he found that he identified as a trans-man, and not a lesbian. Just like Bhandarai, lots of trans-men initially misidentify them­selves as lesbians.

 

“I used social media to open up. Many of my friends were dis­approving,” he says. “Ironically, I had to lose many people in my life when I finally found myself.” Currently employed at the Blue Diamond Society, Bhandari says the place is a family. “My fami­ly was totally against me when I told them I am a man trapped in a woman’s body. But this place gave me the support that I needed. They understood me and helped me understand myself.”

 

Bhakti Shah

 

Bhakti Shah, 32, transitioned also into manhood on joining the Blue Diamond Society. Shah knew he was attracted towards females when he was in his early teens. He considers himself considerably luckier than his friends as he didn't have to face much family pressure to embrace the female identity he was born with.

 

“Before I came out I was scared of what people might think. I felt trapped inside my own body,” he says. “But when I came out I real­ized there are other people like me as well.” When the country has acknowledged the identity of all its citizen, says Shah, there is no need to hide your identity any more.

 

Shah has had a female partner for 10 years now. “Though god witnessed our bond, we want to our marriage to be legalized and nor­malized," Shah says. “About time the gov­ernment legalized marriage among the LGBTI community.”

 

Akanshya Timalsina

 

Born in Morang, Akan­shya Timalsina,25, was very small when she start­ed noticing that she was dif­ferent from other males. But she had to wait till she was 18 before she came across the web­site of the Blue Diamond Society. At long last, the non-profit organization working for LGBTI (Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex) rights would help her identify herself as a transgender.

 

“Before contacting the society, I had never heard about transgen­ders,” she says. “But that is exactly what I was.” At 24, she underwent a top surgery in Bangkok, followed by a sex change surgery a year later. “It was expensive. I had to spend 5-6 years of my savings for the opera­tion,” she says. “But I regret nothing. I feel like a bird that has just been freed from a cage. I am no longer plagued by the guilt that I am in a body that is not mine.”

 

Sudeep Gautam

 

Sudeep Gautam, 27, too always knew. At a tender age of five, when all his friends would play with dolls and wear dresses, he would cry because his parents forced him to do the same. Sudeep never dressed as a female even before he identified himself as a trans-man. He was able to understand his attraction towards females and inclination towards male identity only when entered his teens.

 

“I had to work like a man in order to look after my family even before I identified as a trans-man,” Gau­tam says. But he had to leave his hometown for the fear that his par­ents would marry him off to a man. His sister then told him about the Blue Diamond Society, and his life changed. He has identified himself as a trans-man since 2011. “Although my biological parents brought me into this world, it was Blue Diamond that made me who I am today. I owe it everything,” he says.

 

“We fight humiliation everywhere we go. But I’m going to fight nonethe­less, fight for my community till the day I die,” he says. After all, “we’re all different, we are all equals.”