Dhan Bahadur Roka, 69, has been suffering from a nerve impairment for the past 10 years. His limbs don’t function well if he doesn’t take medicine every day. He needs help moving around. His wife Lilamati Roka, 64, suffers from hypertension and gastritis. But these physical ailments of this couple from Malika rural municipality in the western hill district of Myagdi pale in comparison to another pain they have had to endure for the past 12 years.

 

Of their four sons, three have died abroad— two in Malaysia and one in Qatar. On March 24, the youngest, Dharma Lal, was found dead in his room in Malaysia, where he worked as a security guard. The second son, Bhakta Bahadur, had died 12 years ago in Qatar. Two years after that, the eldest son, Sama Bahadur, died in Malaysia. None of them had any serious illness.

 

Dhan Bahadur couldn’t control his emotions when he saw his youngest son’s body in a coffin last week. Lalamati is barely conscious with grief.

 

Their third son, Tham Bahadur, had come home from Malaysia on March 22, just two days before Dharma Lal breathed his last. He and Dharma Lal had gone to Malaysia within a span of seven months.

 

“My elder brother Bhakta Bahadur died 21 months after he went to Qatar. He had recently been married and his wife was pregnant. He couldn’t see his child. Then my eldest brother went to Malaysia. He died there,” says Tham Bahadur. “For a few years, my youngest brother, Dharma Lal, and I tried to work here in Nepal. But we eventually chose foreign employment because of the lack of decent job prospects here.”

 

Although Tham Bahadur and Dharma Lal worked for different companies, they saw each other every month. “Dharma Lal asked me to go home first and said he would come for Dashain. He was planning on getting married then,” laments Tham Bahadur. “I’m worried. How will I manage family expenses all by myself now?”

 

Dhan Bahadur and Lilamati require medication worth Rs 5,000 every month. Of their two married daughters, the younger one, Shashikala, helps with the expenses. But Tham Bahadur has the added responsibil­ity of taking care of his elder brothers’ three young children. “Sometimes I wonder why I’m alive,” he rues.

 

“Dharma Lal told me that he’d bring gold necklaces for his two sisters when he would come for Dashain. But he’s come home in a coffin,” says Shashikala, weeping disconsolately.

 

The loss of yet another son has plunged the Roka family into dire financial straits. Sri Prasad Roka, head of the Malika rural munici­pality, pledged financial help, both for the last rites and for the children’s education. Various organizations and individuals handed over Rs 30,000 to the Roka family last week to help with Dharma Lal’s last rites expenses.  

 

By Gopal Chhantyal | Beni