The birth of a mother

Pregnancy, labor, and delivery are perhaps the most signifi­cant life experiences for a wom­an. It is a time of extreme physical and emotional transition with intense hormonal, psycholog­ical, and biological changes. The puerperium may thus be a time of vulnerability for women, cou­pled with feelings of loss of control. Tremendous changes occur in the mother's interpersonal and familial world. The birth of a new baby is expected to be a joyful mile­stone in a woman's life, but that is not always the case.

 

It comes as a shock that wom­en can be depressed when one would assume the new mother is joyous. As a mother of a one-year-old I have experienced my share of postpartum blues. The crippling mood swings I felt were so confusing and complicated, I thought some­thing was terribly wrong with me. I kept it all to myself as I feared being judged. All because no one had dis­cussed or warned me about it.

 

When I later met my high-school girlfriends for dinner, it was a refreshing break for me. My daugh­ter was nine months old and I had not discussed what I had gone through with anyone. I was the last one to have a baby in this group so I gathered the courage to open up. To my surprise each one of them had the same experience! One of them, whose child is almost eight years old, said she couldn’t imagine having another baby: she had been trauma­tized by her postpartum experience.

 

According to the American Psy­chological Association, 80 percent of women get ‘postpartum blues’ and 10-20 percent new mothers are affected by postpartum depression. Some women experience minor adjustment issues, and others experience a grave and debilitating mood disorder. It is usually detected between 2-6 weeks postpartum and can last up to two years.

 

Becoming a mother is an identity shift and one of the most significant physical and psychological changes for a woman. Considering that 80 percent new mothers have postpar­tum blues, it's surprising how little we talk about it. It is common to discuss morning sickness and chang­ing bodies, exhaustion, the benefits of nursing or bottle feeding and the dilemma of returning to work. And yet we can be strangely mute about the dramatic and often overwhelm­ing changes in our inner self.

 

In a society like ours where mental health is spoken about in hushed tones, new mothers are affected more than ever. They are confused, and scared of being judged for not being good mothers. Their fear of being labeled a ‘non-perfect’ mother creates the silence. We fail to under­stand that just as the baby develops physically in utero and after birth so a mother is reborn psychologically in months preceding the birth of her child.

 

Maternal mental health has been largely unexplored in the medical community. A woman’s identity transition is completely ignored and the whole focus is on how the baby turns out, and its subsequent development. Sadly new mothers feel lonely and struggle with this transition. What no one tells them is that the transition to motherhood is not instant, easy, glamorous or graceful. It is exhausting and chal­lenging. But it’s also important to understand what you are going through is normal.

 

Greater understanding of the psy­chology of postpartum women helps promote healthier parenting. The childbirth education should include the postpartum period as well as newborn and infant care. Health­care professionals should educate couples about postpartum disor­ders and symptoms such as postpar­tum blues, postpartum depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, pan­ic disorder, etc. Partners and family members should also be made aware of the signs and symptoms. Help and support in any form will help the new mothers feel better.

 

The veil of the stigma associat­ed with postpartum disorders will slowly lift as more women find their voice. We need to empower new mothers by educating them in their prenatal and postnatal phases. For a child doesn’t so much need a perfect mother as much as a happy mother.

 

BY Dr MINANI GURUNG

The author is a medical doctor