We have just celebrated Inter­national Woman’s Day and by coincidence, in the same week, I watched a film about the American Suffragette Movement, followed closely on HBO by another film on the Civil Rights Movement. Into the whole ‘rights’ package of the first week in March, add the Human Rights Film Festival and the Vagina Monologues, both held in the Nepal Tourism Board Hall. While it’s great to celebrate the achievements of women, why in 2018 do we have a world where the rights of women, indigenous peoples, religious minorities and those with certain skin color are still an issue? Will we ever reach a point when everyone is equal? Until women stop bitching about other women, until the privileged stop looking down on those who are worse off than themselves, until men start really standing up for females, and until men “get over themselves”, I fear the answer to that question is ‘NO’.

 

Wow! This column got serious fast. So let’s get back to vaginas…

 

Written in the mid-1990s by Eve Ensler, the Vagina Monologues is an episodic play looking at consensual and non-consensual sexual expe­riences, body image, genital muti­lations, reproduction, sex work, etc. Oh, that doesn’t sound sexy at all—that sounds as if, as Ensler says, “women’s empowerment is deeply connected to their sexuality”. Ensler also says “I’m obsessed with women being violated and raped, and with incest. All of these things are deeply connected to our vaginas.” These thoughts prompted her to interview hundreds of women, out of which a play was born. Ensler found out quickly that a play could be more than a staging of drama, it could be a global call to action.

 

I first saw the play around the mid-2000s in Kathmandu. I found it quite shocking to hear these conver­sations take place on the stage of the City Hall. During that performance several people walked out and I thought “this is too much, too soon for Nepal”. Ten plus years later the Vagina Monologues reappeared, and I think now the time is right. Women and men are more aware, and vocal and angry about physical and sexual abuse against women and girls. And, just so you know, name calling and discussing sexual intent with some­one who is not interested is also sexual abuse.

 

I think back to Lainchour in the monsoon and a young guy on a scooter who was spouting terrible expletives in English as I walked through the evening rain. Since tell­ing him to “F” off wasn’t working, I chose to ignore him. Nothing he was saying was new to this woman: isn’t that fact alone very sad? He disappeared and a few minutes later someone grabbed my arm. Turning, I found a young Nepali girl of around 20 holding onto me for dear life. He had directed his nasty, verbal sexual abuse at her. For her, his obscene words were something unheard before and had affected her deeply.

 

Sobbing and shaking, she tried to explain to people waiting at a bus stop, but they merely looked shocked and helpless. I walked with her and offered to put her in a cab. She refused…probably thinking how she would explain arriving home by taxi. I knew she was not going to tell her parents about this incident. Why? Because it is always the wom­an’s fault—in this case she was out at 7pm. 7pm! No, not the man’s fault, says society, but her fault.

 

Today the Vagina Monologues are making young women in Kathman­du think and take a stand against sexual abuse. Sexual and physical abuse of women and girls is not new of course. But what is new is that women are shouting “Enough!” Encouraged by those in Hollywood and the sports arena, women and girls all over the world are finally speaking up for themselves and for their vaginas.