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I believe it’s important to read books with strong women characters for several reasons. This is true for both readers who identify as women as well as everyone else. I especially enjoy books with women protagonists as I think they tap more into varied human emotions as compared to books with male protagonists. 

Women have often been underrepresented in literature. Their struggles and achievements aren’t often spoken about or celebrated. But things have slowly been changing with more writers focusing on telling stories with women in the lead. In the past few years, I have read some great stories of inspiring women, both fictitious and real, and they have opened me up to a world of experiences that I would probably not have been privy to.

Books like ‘Where the Crawdads Sing’ by Delia Owens showed me the power of resilience in women who seem silent and are sidelined. It made me think of my mother who doesn’t usually say much but manages to hold her ground with such astounding dignity in times of stress. ‘Erotic Stories for Punjabi Widows’ by Balli Kaur Jaswal made me realize that women often have complex needs that they are generally hesitant to discuss. There have been many more such amazing works that have made me look at women and their lives in a completely different light. Here are three of my favorites. 

My Year of Rest and Relaxation by Ottessa Moshfegh

This is Ottessa Moshfegh’s second novel. It’s a story of a young girl who starts relying on prescription drugs in order to sleep for an entire year. The protagonist is a young unnamed woman in New York. She has a lot of problems, and childhood trauma to deal with. Her father ignored her, and her mother was a drunk who used Valium to pacify her. She doesn’t like her best friend, Reva, and she has always felt used by her boyfriend, Trevor. She is not with him anymore but she can’t stop obsessing over him. She decides to take a year off and recover—by taking as many drugs as possible and sleeping for days on end. She believes it’s just the way to fix herself. Moshfegh writes characters who are repulsive but by doing that she exposes people’s vulnerable sides. ‘My Year of Rest and Relaxation’ is seeped in dark humor and evokes empathy for those you might not necessarily understand. 

The Giver of Stars by Jojo Moyes

This is one of my favorite books. It’s such a heartwarming story. It will make you laugh and it will make you cry. And you will be recommending it to everyone you know. Set in small-town 1930’s Kentucky, the book is based on the real-life Pack Horse Librarians of Kentucky, or the Horseback Librarian program as it was called then. The program delivered books as part of Eleanor Roosevelt’s traveling library and ran from 1935 to 1943, making books accessible to over 100,000 rural inhabitants. I love historical fiction and this is probably one of the best I’ve read in the genre. There is drama, conflict, romance, and friendship in this brilliant story that makes you realize the power books and stories have to bring people together. 

Circe by Madeline Miller

Circe came out in 2018 and tells the story of the daughter of Helios, the god of the sun, in a different light. In Miller’s version of Greek mythology, Circe isn’t just a figure with uncertain powers or a witch. The first-person narrative format that Miller has decided to stick to in this book to give Circe a powerful voice, allowing her to tell her own story. Circe, according to the mythology, is the least liked by Helios. She is mocked and eventually even exiled for her use of witchcraft to turn Scylla into a nymph. We see her as a villain of sorts. But in ‘Circe’ we get to hear her side of the story. I loved the book as Circe is such a strong character. She is fierce but not without fears. She is bold but she has her weaknesses. It’s such a lovely depiction of a woman who can be many things at once. 

Every reader has a list of favorite books. The list keeps changing as our reading preferences evolve and change but there are definitely books that we keep coming back to time and again. The thought of certain books fill us with nostalgia and we wish we could read them again, for the first time. Out of all the books I’ve read over the years, if I were forced to pick only five these would probably be it. 

The Island of the Missing Trees by Elif Shafak

This is a beautiful love story narrated in two timelines—one in the 2010s London following 16-year-old Ada Kazantzakis, and the other in the 1970s Cyprus, following her parents Defne and Kostas. One of the narrators is a fig tree that lived in the middle of a tavern in Cyprus before Kostas took a cutting and planted it in his and Defne’s garden in London. As Ada narrates her story of loss and grief and explores her cultural roots, the fit tree fills in the gaps, offering insights into the character’s past and history. The writing is beautiful and concise and believe me, you will never look at a tree in the same way again.  

Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens

A coming-of-age story of a girl named Kya Clark who lives alone in a shack in the swamplands of North Carolina after being abandoned by her family, ‘Where the Crawdads Sing’ is a fascinating read. Owens is a retired wildlife biologist and she intersperses the story with a lot of information about nature’s various elements, blurring the line between fiction and non-fiction in places. Set in the 1950s and 1960s, the story begins with a body being discovered in the swamp and alternates between the past and the present. Kya is a lovely character, even though she’s a bit aloof and might appear strange at times. You will be rooting for her throughout. 

A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman

This book made me laugh. It made me cry. I bought multiple copies of it to give to people I love. It’s basically a story about a 59-year-old Swedish widower called Ove who repeatedly tries and fails to kill himself. Ove comes across as cantankerous but between his attempts to die, you see him take flowers to his wife’s grave and tell her that he misses her. He takes his pregnant neighbor to the hospital and even babysits their kids. He does not do it with a smile on his face but you can see that beyond the grumpy facade, there’s a kind man. You also get a taste of urban Swedish life and how immigration is slowly changing the landscape there, much like everywhere else. It’s a beautiful book because it teaches you to love life despite the many issues that inevitably arise. 

Roar by Cecelia Ahern

I have to admit that I wasn’t particularly interested in reading this book when a friend gifted it to me. I assumed it would be sappy and silly as I wasn’t a fan of Ahern’s fiction. But I couldn’t have been more wrong. Roar, a collection of 30 stories about women from different walks of life, is one of the most uplifting and inspiring books I have read. The feminist stories have traces of magical realism and science fiction. The writing is okay but the stories are relatable and highly imaginative. Based on women’s experiences that are almost always shoved under the carpet, the stories leave a lasting impact. I would recommend you to read a story or two at a time and let their message sink in before moving on. 

The Stationery Shop of Tehran by Marjan Kamali

Roya and Bahman are in love. They get engaged but then the coup happens in Tehran and they get separated. Roya is devastated and leaves for California where she meets Walter and gets married. But she can never forget Bahman and this dictates her entire life. ‘The Stationery Shop of Tehran’ is essentially a love story but it’s also a story about a woman’s strength to overcome life’s challenges. It’s sad at times, hopeful at places, and fills you with a strange kind of yearning. If you like historical fiction and romance, you will love ‘The Stationery Shop of Tehran’.

I have to confess that I wasn’t a fan of ‘The Hunger Games’ series by Suzzane Collins when it first came out in 2008. I read it because everyone was reading and talking about it. But since I wasn’t interested in dystopian settings, I didn’t get as hooked as perhaps the rest of the world. 

I read the second part ‘Catching Fire’ as I wanted to know what would happen to Katniss Everdeen, the protagonist, after she won the games but by the third book ‘Mockingjay’, I had lost all interest.

To be honest, I didn’t read ‘The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes’ that came out in 2020 so even I was surprised when I picked up ‘Sunrise on the Reaping’ that came out early this year. It was part the hype surrounding the book and part this acceptance of dystopian novels post Covid-19 which had made the impossible seem possible. 

For those of you who don’t know what the Hunger Games is about (and I’m pretty sure there aren’t very many), it’s a dystopian novel about this place where the Capitol controls all the other districts in the area. Many years ago, frustrated with the Capitol’s oppressive regime, the 12 districts rose against it. There was a civil war in which the districts lost. Since then, as a form of punishment, the Capitol takes two ‘tributes’, a boy and a girl, from each district to participate in what they call the hunger games. Out of 24 participants, only one remains in the end. The blood bath that ensues in the artificially constructed arena where everything is under the control of the game makers is shown on TV. 

Sunrise on the Reaping follows Haymitch Abernathy, who features heavily in the original Hunger Games trilogy as Katniss and Peeta’s mentor. As the only surviving victor from District 12, he is tasked with mentoring the tributes from his district but he is perpetually drunk and lost in his own world. However, his sharp mind and cunning skills prove to be crucial in ensuring the tribute’s survival in the arena. Though you will initially dislike him in the Hunger Games, he is a character who will slowly grow on you. Sunrise on the Reaping gives his backstory and you get to find out why Haymitch is the way he is. You will come to empathize with him.

But you can read the book as a standalone book or even if you have forgotten much of what happens in the Hunger Games trilogy. In district 12, on the day of the 50th annual Hunger Games, Haymitch Abernathy tries not to think too hard about his chances as that year twice as many tributes are being taken. He just wants to make it through the day and be with Lenore Dove, the girl he loves and wants to spend the rest of his life with. He truly believes he will beat the odds. But Haymitch’s name gets called in the reaping and he finds himself torn apart from his family—his mother and younger brother, and his love. He is transported to the Capitol with three other district 12 tributes—a young girl he considers his sister, an oddsmaker, and the girl Lenore dislikes the most. 

Even before the games begin, the people at the Capital and especially President Snow take an instant dislike to him. Haymitch soon realizes that he has been set up to fail from the start and that they are going to do everything to take him out as early and as brutally as possible once he enters the arena. But something in him wants to fight, and to show the Capitol people that the tributes aren’t just mere pawns.

I breezed through the book as I simply couldn’t put it down. It’s fast paced and the characters are beautifully developed. You even come to care about a character that appears for a really short time and has perhaps been implanted by the Capitol to spy on Haymitch. We learn a lot about Haymitch in the third part of the series ‘Mockingjay’ and those who haven’t read Sunrise on the Reaping might wonder what new this book has to offer. But there are so many layers to his story and how he won the games that you will be missing out if you don’t read this gem of a novel that keeps you on the edge of your seat all throughout. 

If you haven’t read the series then this book could actually even be a great introduction to it. I’m tempted to read the Hunger Games again after having read Sunrise on the Reaping because I’ve forgotten much of what’s in it and also because I feel I’ll look at the characters and the story from a fresh perspective. I hadn’t enjoyed them very much when I first read it but now I’ve a feeling that I will as I’m quite invested in the plot and care deeply about the district tributes whoever they might be. President Snow might just be my most hated person at the moment. What I mean by that is, in my head, I seem to be largely living in the world the author has built.

The book also deals with themes like political propaganda and the gap between the haves and the have-nots, making it a thought-provoking read as well. I’ve given it a five out of five stars and can’t stop thinking about it. It’s every bit as wonderful as the internet (especially all the BookTubers) is making it out to be. 

Dystopia

Sunrise on the Reaping

Suzanne Collins

Publisher: Scholastic Press

Published: 2025

Pages: 382, Hardcover

Price: Rs 1918

Many of us have a problem saying no to people. It makes us uncomfortable. Sometimes we have to explain ourselves or make elaborate excuses. So, we end up saying yes to things we would rather not be a part of. I guess it’s one of the most common human conditions—one that we would like to correct but find ourselves unable to most of the time. 

I’m horrible at saying no to people. My default response is always a ‘sure’ or an ‘okay’ even as my mind is screaming otherwise. I don’t want to disappoint people or come across as someone who is difficult. But saying yes doesn’t always guarantee I will follow through on my promises. I will often skip lunches and invites despite having said yes to them. I’ll find ways to back out last minute and feel relieved when someone cancels engagements I’ve agreed to be a part of. I realize if I could only say no to things I don’t feel like doing, I don’t have to be unnecessarily stressed out or eventually do things half heartedly. 

I always vow to do better—to speak my mind and turn down offers I’m not interested in. I’m envious of people who can say no. Every year, it’s one of my top five resolutions. I’m trying to learn how to say no without offending people. But it’s not an easy thing. Whenever I say no (or try to say no) I can clearly see the hurt on the other person’s face and I start to explain myself, sometimes even making up stories as I go. I hate myself for it. But I fall into the trap every single time. 

I have a few friends, colleagues, and mentors who can say no politely and with ease. One thing they all seem to have in common is clearly sorted priorities. They know they won’t be able to give time to certain things and have no qualms about rejecting those offers. I have spoken to a few of them and they have all maintained that how the other person feels isn’t in their control. The best they can do is be direct and clearly state where they stand. It prevents future misunderstandings and complications, they say. 

I have said yes to things that I’ve had to cancel at the last minute and this is even worse than not being able to say no in the first place. I realize it makes me lose face and people aren’t likely to take my words seriously in the future. I can’t remember the number of times I’ve said yes to invitations and engagements knowing full well that I might not be able to make it and then regretted it later. 

I’ve also had people say yes to me only to disappear at the last minute. Once a senior female journalist agreed to participate in a roundtable event I was organizing for research purposes. She even confirmed a week before the discussion. Then she wouldn’t pick up her phone or respond to texts a day prior to the event. I know she wasn’t ill or had had no emergencies and could have responded to the calls and texts as she was out and about town. Some people I knew had even caught up with her for coffee and chitchat. 

Needless to say, I hated being on the receiving end of this kind of unprofessional behavior and I wondered how many times I might have disappointed people in a similar fashion. I would like to say that I’ve always made it a point to cancel if I wouldn’t be able to do something I had said yes to but I must have pulled the disappearing act too a few times when it has been too awkward to cancel. 

This one incident has made me think deeply and seriously about the importance and perhaps kindness of saying no rather than saying yes to seem amicable and nice and then later backing out. Though initially alarming, it gives the other person clarity on where things stand. It’s a nicer thing to do for the sake of the other person and also a kind thing to do for yourself. You will feel better about yourself and won’t be stressed. 

Saying no takes practice and it’s not something I hope to achieve overnight or through resolutions but to start with I’m definitely going to force myself to speak my mind instead of saying yes to everything that comes my way. 

One of my colleagues told me a great way to start saying no is to tell people you will think it through when they ask you something and not give an immediate answer. This allows you space to gather your thoughts and give a dignified answer without offending anyone or without having to compromise. 

Poetry can feel a little intimidating but there are some hacks if you want to get into it: Read poems out loud. Read them repeatedly. Let the words take space in your head. Over time, you will definitely come to enjoy reading poems and will find that they make sense as well, sometimes even resonating more than well-written prose by your favorite author.

I was petrified of poems and was relieved that I wouldn’t have to read them once they weren’t prescribed syllabus. But once I was out of college, I started picking up random poetry books of my own volition. One of the earliest works I read were some Nepali poems and those by Maya Angelou. I have to admit that not everything made sense but I enjoyed how I felt reading the words till they eventually fell into place. Slowly, I started picking up more poetry books as I could quickly read one or two even during busy days. I would carry a book of poetry in my bag and dip into it whenever I had some time. 

Over the years, I have amassed quite a few volumes of poetry. Gulzar, Rumi, Keats—I have tried to read widely and find what suits my taste. Not everything makes sense immediately but I’m not as intimidated by poems as I once was. I recently picked up ‘The Poetry Pharmacy’ by Willian Sieghart and the book goes everywhere with me. It’s on my bedside table at night. I carry it in my bag. I read a random page whenever I can and somehow whatever I read resonates deeply.The Poetry Pharmacy proclaims to be tried-and-true prescriptions for the heart, mind, and soul. And it indeed is. From mental and emotional wellbeing to love and loss, there are poems in this slim volume for all kinds of ailments. 

The idea of the poetry pharmacy came into being many years ago when Sieghart was asked to prescribe poems from one of his books to the audience during a literary festival in England. What was supposed to be an hour long affair turned into a several hours long event. People queued up to be prescribed a poem that would fix whatever was weighing down their hearts. Sieghart realized that “suffering is the access point to poetry for a lot of people: that’s when they open their ears, hearts, and minds.”

In the introduction to the book, he says sometimes the right words when people are in need can bring great comfort and that creates a love for poetry that can last a lifetime. He urges readers not to worry about their ability to read a poem and to try and read the same poem every night for five nights in a row when it doesn’t make sense. “Keep it by your bed and read it before you switch out the lights,” he says. That’s what I have been doing with The Poetry Pharmacy and the poems in the book have, in many ways, been a soothing balm just when I have needed it. 

Poems like ‘If’ by Rudyard Kipling and ‘Still I Rise’ by Maya Angelou are two of my favorites that fill me with hope. There are many other poems ‘New Every Morning’ by Susan Coolige that has been prescribed for compulsive behavior, ‘The Mistake’ by James Fenton prescribed to get over regret and self-loathing, and ‘Come to the Edge’ by Christopher Logue that can fix lack of courage that feel like big, enveloping hugs that you didn’t know you needed. There’s a poem titled ‘Chemotherapy’ by Julia Darling that I must urge everyone to read. Cancer is unfortunately becoming something we are all dealing with on a personal level: perhaps we have gone through it ourselves or seen a loved one suffer. This poem reminds us that life can’t be made inconsequential by illness and that small pleasures can bring a lot of comfort in the darkest of times. 

The Poetry Pharmacy brings together some of the best poems by poets who understand the human conditions all too well. The book’s layout is such that it has Sieghart’s ‘prescriptions’ on one side and the poem on the other page. His explanations or ‘editorials’ are every bit as uplifting as the poems he prescribes. The book is a complication of 56 universal problems. Read it cover to cover or dip in and out whenever you want to, this brilliant book of poems is guaranteed to be a lifesaver.

The Poetry Pharmacy

William Sieghart

Published: 2017

Publisher: Particular Books, Penguin Random House UK

Pages: 151, Hardcover

Banana Yoshimoto is the pen name of the author Mahoko Yoshimoto whose father is a famous poet in Japan. I picked up her collection of short stories titled ‘Dead-End Memories’ earlier this year because I was fascinated by the name and also because if I come across a collection of short stories by an author I haven’t read I will definitely pick it up. I had enjoyed the collection of stories about women, who after some painful event in their lives, find comfort in small moments of everyday life. 

I wanted to read more of her works which is why I picked up ‘Kitchen’ during a recent trip to the bookstore. I have been having a reading slump of sorts again and I thought this slim book would be just perfect to get over it. Kitchen comprises two classic tales about mothers, kitchens, love, and tragedy. It was published in 1987 and won two of Ja[an’s most prestigious literary prizes. 

‘The place I like the best in the world is the kitchen’ reads the first line of the book and I was hooked. Throughout the book, you return to the kitchen again and again. It’s almost like the kitchen is the main character. Mirage Sakurai, the protagonist of the slim novel, loves the kitchen. It’s where she finds comfort. But the story isn’t about kitchens or cooking. It’s basically about Mikage’s life, her grief and her sorrows and how she deals with them. 

Mikage lives with her grandmother. Her parents died when she was a young girl. When her grandmother passes away, she finds herself suddenly alone and unable to figure out the ways of the world. Yuichi, someone her grandmother knew, invites her for dinner and then to stay with his family until she finds her footing. There she meets Eriko, Yuichi’s father-turned-mother. The rest of the novel is a story of the three of them and what happens when their lives intertwine. 

Kitchen is a lovely story of finding comfort in unlikely places and the strength you draw from other people’s stories and lives. The writing is smooth and you can probably read the book in one sitting but you also want to take things slow and savor the story. The book deals heavily with loss, loneliness, and mourning but it’s also a hopeful story. You feel sad but you are waiting for the light to appear and things to change. It’s exactly how life feels like and reading the book makes you marvel at the fragility and beauty of life. 

The second story in the book, ‘Moonlight Shadow’ is a shorter read than the titular one. But it’s engaging and surreal. It tells the story of Satsuki, who lost her boyfriend in an accident. Her boyfriend’s brother Hiiragi also lost his girlfriend in the same accident. It’s once again a story about loss and grief, much like Kitchen but it focuses more on getting closure from a relationship before being able to move on in life. Even though it’s shorter than Kitchen, the characters are more fleshed out and the story felt more real despite the magical realism element to it. 

I enjoyed Yoshimoto’s short story collection but I would definitely recommend those reading her for the first time to start with Kitchen first as it’s simple yet thought-provoking. 

Kitchen

Banana Yoshimoto

Translated from the Japanese by Meghan Backus

Published: 1994

Publisher: Faber & Faber Limited

Pages: 150, paperback

Let me start by admitting that I found Rajkummar Rao a little strange as an actor (meaning I thought he wasn’t really actor material as he didn’t look very appealing on screen). So I didn’t watch his films until Covid-19 lockdowns happened and we were stuck at home with our evenings pretty much free. Then, on a friend’s recommendation, I watched a few of his movies like ‘Shaadi Mein Zaroor Aana’, ‘Trapped’ and ‘Stree’. There was no doubt that he was a phenomenal actor who portrayed the characters he played with conviction and courage.

The three films I watched were all different from one another; one was a romance, another was a thriller, while Stree was a horror-comedy. The films worked because of Rao’s stellar acting and convincing character portrayal. All three movies have over seven ratings on IMDb. Over time, as I watched his other works like ‘Hit’, ‘Citylights’, ‘Roohi’, ‘Mr and Mrs Mahi’, and ‘Badhaai Do’, I started associating him with someone who only does selective but good work and shines in all his roles.

But Rao, in the last few years, has been doing the same kind of roles back-to-back and it’s getting a little annoying now. I understand that most actors are typecast into a specific kind of role. But Rao is doing himself a disservice by playing a useless, lovestruck, small-town guy who has nothing going for him. He doesn’t come across as charming and irresistible as he’s supposed to. Rather, you pity him and sometimes even want to slap him.

His latest movie ‘Bhool Chuk Maaf’ that released this year is another disaster. The movie is available on Amazon Prime but I insist you give it a miss if you don’t want to suffer a headache. I attribute my headache after watching the movie to the countless times I must have rolled my eyes at Rao’s weird antics and painful acting. It takes a lot of effort to make a movie and I don’t want to say bad things but Bhool Chuk Maaf was a rehash of many different rom-coms we have all watched (and become a little bored of by now).

Ranjan Tiwari (Rao) is a small-town boy from Banaras, India, who is in love with Titli (Wamiqa Gabbi) but Titli’s father doesn’t approve of Ranjan. As someone who doesn’t have a stable job, he thinks Ranjan won’t be able to provide for his family. He agrees to let Titli marry Ranjan on one condition—that he find himself a government job in two months. Unable to get through multiple exams, Ranjan turns to Lord Shiva. Ranjan lands a job but gets stuck in a time loop when he forgets to fulfill his vow.

The plot has potential. It was marketed as a ‘high concept’ comedy. While I have read books where characters have been stuck in time loops, I hadn’t come across a Bollywood movie that explores this entertaining albeit frustrating concept. Had it been better executed and supported by strong acting by the main character, the movie wouldn’t have been such a bore. Gabbi shines in her role as does Sanjay Mishra who plays Bhagwan Das, the agent commissioned to find Ranjan a job. But Rao is at the center of the story and even with great support from the rest of the cast, he isn’t able to keep you hooked.

You feel like you have seen this movie before because you have watched Rao in similar roles in quite a few movies in the past. His role in Bhool Chuk Maaf is reminiscent of his roles in Stree, ‘Vicky Vidya ka Woh Wala Video’, ‘Chalaang’, Mr and Mrs Mahi and a few others that I’m forgetting at the moment. In each of these movies, he’s been reduced to a hapless person who can’t seem to fix his life. He’s a man child who always seems to get girls way out of his league. At least in the movies I have mentioned, his acting was convincing. In Bhool Chuk Maaf, Rao looks bored and disinterested.

The songs are ridiculous to say the least and Rao, who I thought was a decent dancer, makes jerky body movements and strange facial expressions. It was actually difficult to watch. Worse, the tracks also don’t fit seamlessly into the plot and just make the movie drag on pointlessly. I don’t remember the last time I watched a Bollywood flick and didn’t enjoy the choreography. But Bhool Chuk Maaf’s main fault definitely lies in its unconvincing characterization. It’s almost like Rao stepped into this movie from one of his previous movies and just found a new love interest. I hope Rao  chooses better scripts and steps away from rom-coms that make him seem like a loser and finally lives up to the potential he showed during his early days in the Hindi film industry. 

Many years ago, my mother told my father to seek help for his anxiety and depression that perhaps stemmed from a traumatic childhood. His reaction was not only one of resistance but one of outright anger as well. “Yes, I’m crazy,” he said. My parents are medical doctors. So, for me, it came as a shock that someone who actually had ‘knowledge’ about mental health had such a narrow mindset. I guess sometimes societal conditioning can overpower formal education.

It took many years of my mother and I gently coaxing my father to get help for him to finally give in. He agreed to visit a psychiatrist. But he still didn’t want anyone to know. He would meticulously file his medical bills to claim insurance but he would tear and throw all the receipts that came from the psychiatrist’s clinic. He didn’t want anyone at the insurance company to find out as he had been their client for many years and people knew him.

My mother, on the other hand, is extremely vocal about mental health and her awareness and acceptance of it is in stark contrast to my father’s. And she’s even a few years older than my father. But mental health taboo is so deep rooted in our culture that even as I write this I find myself wondering if I’m giving out too much information, and if my father will be upset should he come across this piece (he’s currently out of town so he won’t have access to the physical copy of the paper for a few days so that allows me to heave a sigh of relief).

There is definitely more conversation around mental health than ever before and that is allowing people to open up about their own issues or their loved one’s struggles. But there’s still a sense of unease while discussing mental health as people fear it makes them appear weak and thus gives them a sense of inferiority complex. The social and cultural stigma often prevents people from seeking treatment and, as with most diseases, early intervention is the best hope for a full recovery in case of mental illnesses as well.

A recent survey by the Nepal Health Research Council found that 10 percent of Nepalis have suffered from mental health conditions at some point in their lives. Nepal adopted the National Mental Health Policy in 1997 and has, over the years, demonstrated its commitment to promoting mental health by adopting different plans and policies. But their implementation and monitoring remain weak due to inadequate funding, limited human resources, and concentration of services in urban areas.

I feel social media has a large role to play in raising awareness about mental health, especially among youths. There are many influencers and youth-led organizations that are sharing stories of mental health struggles, whether their own or of people they know, and this has created a community of sorts where people feel supported and not judged. But as someone who has had to deal with a loved one’s mental illness, I know it’s going to take a lot more than just conversations on social media for our society to accept mental health as any other illness people might suffer from like a cold or a stomach infection. They say change starts at home but support from immediate family members can’t do much when you feel you will be shamed and shunned the minute you step out of the door.

When one person in a family battles a mental health issue of any kind, whether it’s mood disorders or addiction, the whole family suffers its consequences. It’s like walking on eggshells all the time. As selfish as it might sound, sometimes I think my mother and I suffered more than my father as our whole world revolved around him. It was almost like one person had the control of multiple lives. My father was living his own life, while dictating how my mother and I lived ours as well. Our moods depended on how he was feeling on a particular day. If he was happy, so were we. If he were sad, upset, or angry, then our day was a guaranteed dud.

It’s only now that my father has started treatment and his mood is a lot more stable that I find myself breathing a little more freely. I’m also not constantly on the edge. Otherwise, I had to be extremely careful of what I said and how I behaved when he was around and that was stressful to say the least. I once read a quote that said, “Most of us who are in therapy are in therapy because a loved one who needs therapy refused to go to therapy.” I used to ‘joke’ (or perhaps it never was just a joke) that my father’s mental health problems were slowly seeping into me. I was always a sound sleeper but as my father’s anxiety and depression got worse, I found myself sleeping fitfully. It also became harder to stay motivated professionally. Sometimes, I felt like doing nothing at all.

It takes a lot to deal with a loved one’s mental health issues, especially when they don’t get the help they need. Greater awareness on mental health and breaking the stigma that surrounds it would definitely help as would policy interventions to make mental health checks and counselling mandatory at schools, colleges, and workplaces. But while all that happens slowly on the side, I believe sharing your story of mental health struggles might help someone else do the same, thus creating a circle of hope.