Nepal is currently facing a devastating situation caused by massive floods, landslides, and mudflows. The scale of the destruction is overwhelming, and for many people, the images, stories, and continuous reports coming from affected areas are difficult to process emotionally. In moments like this, our first instinct as human beings is often to ask: “What can I do?” That question itself comes from compassion. When we see people trapped, families separated, homes destroyed, and communities struggling to survive, it is natural to feel that we must immediately do something.

But there is something important we need to understand about helping during a disaster: Not every action that looks like help is actually helpful.

Sometimes, the most responsible thing we can do is to stay away from the disaster area. Sometimes donating money is more useful than donating physical items. Sometimes sharing verified information can save a life, while sharing an unverified video can create panic. Sometimes remaining quietly at home, praying for those affected, and allowing trained professionals to work without interference is itself an act of support.

As a psychologist, I believe this is an important moment to understand not only the physical consequences of this disaster but also the psychological consequences. Disasters affect people’s bodies, homes, livelihoods, relationships, sense of safety, and mental wellbeing. They also affect those who are watching from a distance. So, let us rethink the meaning of help.

Understand what help really means

Many people have an idea that helping means physically being present at the disaster site.

We see rescue workers entering dangerous areas, volunteers distributing food, medical professionals treating injured people, and community members searching through mud and debris. Because these forms of help are highly visible, we may begin to believe that unless we are physically present, we are not contributing. That is not true. In a disaster, an uncontrolled crowd can become an additional problem. Rescue operations require coordination, space, communication, transportation, security, medical support, and trained personnel. If hundreds or thousands of untrained individuals suddenly enter an affected area, roads can become congested, rescue vehicles may be delayed, relief supplies can become difficult to distribute, and professional teams may have difficulty reaching survivors.

Imagine a narrow road leading to a severely affected village. The Nepali Army, Nepal Police, medical teams, and local authorities are trying to move rescue equipment through that road. At the same time, hundreds of well-intentioned volunteers arrive in private vehicles. They may have good intentions, but their presence could block the very road needed by an ambulance or rescue team. In that situation, staying away is not selfishness. It is responsible citizenship. If authorities ask people not to enter an affected area, respecting that instruction is a form of help. If you are not trained in rescue, first aid, disaster management, logistics, engineering, or psychosocial response, you do not necessarily need to put yourself in the field. You can help by staying where you are and allowing trained teams to perform their work. You can also help by keeping your phone available if family members need to contact you, checking on vulnerable relatives, supporting children at home, preparing meals for people in your community, or assisting elderly neighbors. Help is not defined by visibility. Help is defined by usefulness.

Do not turn human suffering into social-media content

Another major responsibility during a disaster is controlling what we share online. We are living through a time when a tragedy can reach millions of people within minutes. A photograph taken in one village can be circulated throughout the country and around the world before authorities have even verified what happened. We need to ask ourselves a simple question before posting anything: Will sharing this information genuinely help someone? Not every shocking photograph needs to be published. Not every video of a dead body needs to be uploaded. Not every crying family member needs to become a Facebook reel. Not every desperate moment needs to become content.

People who are experiencing disaster are not actors in a video. They are human beings going through some of the most painful moments of their lives. A dead body has nothing to say, but that doesn’t mean you need to share it on social media; you can kindly inform the police.

Imagine a parent searching desperately for a missing child. Someone records that moment and uploads it to social media without permission. The video receives thousands of views. Perhaps people comment, share it, and even generate income from the content. But what happens psychologically to the family? They may later encounter that video repeatedly. Their loved one’s final moments may become permanently available online. Their grief becomes public property. This is not compassion.
Similarly, continuously watching disaster footage can affect people who are physically far away from the affected location. The human brain responds to repeated exposure to threatening images. Even when we are physically safe, our nervous system can remain activated. People may experience fear, helplessness, sadness, anger, difficulty sleeping, intrusive images, excessive checking of news, or a persistent feeling that something terrible is about to happen.

In other words: The disaster may be occurring in one geographical location, but repeated exposure can bring the disaster into thousands of people’s minds.

Therefore, responsible media consumption is also psychological first aid. Share information that can help people locate shelters, emergency services, missing-person resources, blood donation opportunities, verified relief efforts, and official instructions. Avoid sharing material simply because it is shocking. Do not use people’s suffering to increase followers, views, engagement, or advertising revenue. A person’s worst moment should not become our entertainment.

Do not give disaster advice outside your expertise

During emergencies, people often feel an urge to become experts overnight. Someone who has never studied disaster management may suddenly begin telling people how to respond to floods. Someone with a background in economics may start giving detailed instructions about rescue procedures. Someone who watched several videos about landslides may begin advising communities about geological safety. Good intentions do not automatically create expertise. If you are an economist, contribute through the knowledge you actually possess. If you are an engineer, use your engineering expertise. If you are a doctor, support medical response. If you are a psychologist, provide psychologically appropriate support. If you are a logistics professional, help organize transportation and supplies. We should respect specialization.

During a crisis, incorrect advice can be dangerous. For example, telling someone to cross a rapidly moving river because “the water does not look too deep” could have fatal consequences. Advising people to enter unstable buildings after a landslide could expose them to secondary collapse. Giving medical advice without adequate knowledge could delay appropriate treatment. Before giving advice, ask yourself: Sometimes saying “I don’t know” is a much more responsible response than confidently giving incorrect information.

Do not shame other people’s forms of helping

One of the unfortunate psychological reactions during disasters is comparison. One person donates money. Another person gives food. Someone else posts about a relief campaign. Another individual volunteers physically. Someone stays home and supports their family.

Then people begin judging one another. “Why are you only posting on Facebook?” “Why aren’t you going to the field?” “Why did you donate such a small amount?” “Why are you donating money instead of supplies?” This kind of judgment does not strengthen collective action. It can discourage people from helping at all. Suppose a young person has only Rs 500 available but decides to contribute Rs 200 to a verified relief effort. That amount may appear insignificant compared with large donations, but it represents a genuine willingness to contribute. Another person may not have money but may prepare meals for affected neighbors. A business owner may provide blankets. A teacher may organize students to collect essential supplies. A driver may transport relief materials without charging transportation costs. A photographer may document damage responsibly for legitimate humanitarian purposes. A person with a large online following may use their platform to distribute verified emergency information.

If you are physically and professionally prepared, support rescue operations

There is, of course, a place for physical volunteering. If you are physically capable, emotionally prepared, properly trained, and can operate under the direction of authorized rescue organizations, your contribution may be extremely valuable. But do not simply go to the disaster site and assume that good intentions are enough. Coordinate with the Nepal Army, Nepal Police, local government, emergency response organizations, medical teams, or other authorized agencies. A trained person who follows instructions can become an important part of a rescue operation.

For example, someone trained in first aid can support injured survivors. A trained technician may help restore communication systems. A driver familiar with difficult terrain may help transport supplies. A trained search-and-rescue volunteer may assist professionals in locating missing people.  We need more people who are willing to help—but we also need those people to understand where their skills fit.

If you have financial capacity, donate responsibly

Money is one of the most flexible forms of disaster assistance. If you are financially comfortable, consider contributing a portion of your income to a legitimate and accountable relief effort. You do not have to compete with anyone. You do not need to announce the amount. You do not need to prove your generosity. A contribution of Rs 1,000, Rs 5,000, Rs 50,000, or more can all represent meaningful assistance depending on someone’s circumstances. However, donations should also be thoughtful. Before transferring money, check whether the organization or campaign is genuine. Prefer verified channels and organizations with transparent mechanisms for receiving and distributing funds. Financial assistance can help purchase food, medicine, hygiene materials, blankets, temporary shelter equipment, transportation, and other necessities. And remember that disaster recovery does not end when the television coverage ends. People may need assistance weeks and months later to rebuild homes, restart businesses, return children to school, and recover emotionally.

Businesses can contribute what they already have

Not every business needs to donate cash. Businesses often have direct access to goods and services that disaster-affected communities need. A bedding company could donate mattresses, blankets, or bedsheets. A clothing manufacturer could provide warm clothes.

A pharmaceutical company could support essential medical supplies through appropriate channels. A food company could provide packaged food. A transportation company could offer vehicles. A construction company could contribute equipment or technical expertise.

A hotel might provide temporary accommodation where appropriate. A printing company could produce emergency information materials. A technology company could support communication or data-management systems. This is an important principle: You do not always need to give what you have in money. Give what you have in capacity.

Understand that help has many forms

One of the biggest mistakes we can make is reducing humanitarian assistance to a single activity. People often ask, “How much money has been collected?” Money is important, but it is not the only resource. Disasters require coordination, transportation, food, water, medical care, shelter, communication, psychological support, sanitation, information management, search and rescue, child protection, and eventually reconstruction. Nepal also faces a significant challenge because our resources are limited compared with the scale of a massive national disaster. We have limited numbers of specialized rescue personnel, emergency medical professionals, disaster psychologists, logistics experts, engineers, and specialized equipment. Therefore, we need to use available resources intelligently. A person who knows how to organize information can help. A person who knows how to translate information can help. A person who can identify missing-person reports and prevent misinformation can help.

A teacher can support children. A counselor can provide psychological first aid within appropriate professional boundaries. A community leader can coordinate local resources.

A person with no specialized skill can still support their family, neighbors, or community and prevent unnecessary pressure on emergency systems.

Protect your own mental health too

There is another issue right after any incident that we rarely discuss: the mental health of people who are watching and worrying. You may have family members in affected areas.

You may have lost someone. You may be waiting for information about a missing person. You may be repeatedly checking your phone. You may be watching videos late into the night. You may feel guilty because you are safe while others are suffering. You may think: “How can I sleep comfortably when other people are suffering?” These reactions are understandable. But destroying your own psychological well-being does not help survivors. So take breaks from disaster coverage, sleep well, eat properly, talk to trusted people, limit exposure to graphic content, do not continuously refresh social media searching for bad news, and if you are overwhelmed, seek professional psychological support. Taking care of yourself is not an act of selfishness.

Do not forget the people who will need help

The psychological and social effects of disasters can continue long after the floodwater recedes. A family may have lost its home. A child may have lost a parent. A farmer may have lost livestock. A business owner may have lost their entire livelihood. A student may have missed weeks of education. A rescue worker may have experienced traumatic scenes.

A community may continue living with fear whenever heavy rain begins. Therefore, recovery must be understood as a long-term process. We should not disappear after the social-media attention disappears. People may need counseling, educational support, financial recovery, livelihood assistance, housing support, community rebuilding, and social connection for months or years. The immediate rescue is only the beginning.