I had read somewhere that the recent Akshay Kumar starrer “Bachchhan Paandey” had failed in the box office. But filmmakers and fans alike blamed the unexpected success of “The Kashmir Files” as the reason BP could not do well in cinemas across India and abroad. Also, the IMDB rating for the 2022 Hindi-language action comedy is 7.1 out of 10. Not bad, I assumed, for a relaxed evening on Amazon Prime.

But only around 20 minutes in, I was sure I’d be getting the biggest disappointment of the year in terms of films. Directed by Farhad Samji, BP takes inspiration from two amazing films—the 2014 Tamil “Jigarthanda” which in turn was inspired by the 2006 South Korean hit “A Dirty Carnival.”

Having watched both, I’d first like to make it clear that BP does not even scale to a quarter of the greatness of its inspirations. In fact, this film makes the audience question the judgements and choices of actor Akshay Kumar and producer Sajid Nadiadwala, both successful men of Bollywood who seem to have suddenly impaired their tastes and skills. 

The film begins with opening credits and background music that seems to be inspired by the OSTs for Clint Eastwood’s classic “Dollars Trilogy.” The music is not impressive but does definitely grab some attention. And that’s the only likable part of the film. The rest is just a collection of some of the worst performances in Bollywood history—both acting and production wise. 

The titular character Bachchhan Paandey (Kumar) is a ruthless gangster based in Baghwa, Bihar. His exploits are not only famous in the region, but also reach the ears of Mumbai-based aspiring filmmaker Myra Devekar (Kriti Sanon). Myra has been told by her producer to find a real-life gangster as an inspiration for her movie and she travels all the way to Baghwa to research him. 

Then follow a series of goof-ups and bizarre sequences as filmmakers try to humanize the cold-blooded murderer Bachchhan Paandey and make him a ‘hero’. This age-old villain-turns-hero narrative is so bluntly inserted into the film, it gets boring from the word go. 

The problem with Bachchhan Paandey is, it tries too hard to emulate mainstream South Indian filmmaking where the characters are loud, colorful and atrocious. Kumar’s titular character is a stereotypical baddie who has a dramatic secret that justifies his present behavior. But the actor is never comfortable in his character. It seems obvious that the veteran actor is trying too hard to fit into a role he would have pulled off easily a decade and a half ago. Plus, his attempted Bihari accent sucks. 

Talking about accents and acting, BP is one of those rare films where a bunch of celebrated actors collectively fail. Kriti Sanon is nowhere near her best. Arshad Warsi—the famous ‘Circuit’ of the Munna Bhai MBBS fame—plays Vishwakant Mhatre (Vishu), Myra’s jovial friend, sans his usual comic timing. Jacqueline Fernandez as Sophie, Bachchhan’s love interest, could have been replaced by anyone in the crew and nobody would have missed her. 

The miserably writing of Bachchhan Paandey not only lets down its main characters but also causes a dent in the resumes of brilliant supporting actors like Prateik Babbar, Abhimanyu Singh, Sanjay Mishra, Seema Biswas and even the great Pankaj Tripathi who has had a good streak of hits in the near past. There is absolutely nothing interesting in any of the characters played by these actors, which is shocking. Again, there probably has not been a bigger collective failure than Bachchhan Paandey in Bollywood’s recent history. 

Who should watch it?

Nobody. That’s why I am writing this review. To warn my friends and readers with Amazon Prime to skip this movie. Don’t like IMDB ratings and Akshay Kumar fans fool you into indulging in this snooze fest. 

Rating: 1 star

Genre: Action comedy

Director: Farhad Samji

Actors: Akshya Kumar, Kriti Sanon, Jacqueline Fernandez 

Run time: 2h 27mins

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4d8m59ct2wQ